Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
