Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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