I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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