make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
