Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize