dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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