I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize