This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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