so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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