the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
