its not stalking. its research.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
