I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
