Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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