If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
