you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
