Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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