Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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