The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
