The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
