This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My bed smells like the plague
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
