I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
