Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize