Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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