You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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