I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
