come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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