oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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