just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Randomize
