They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
