I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
