my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
