Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
