just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
