Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
