Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize