Don't you send me to vm
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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