I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
