That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
