A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
