you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
