Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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