drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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