Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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