do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
