Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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