are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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