You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
