Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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