It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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