Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
