I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
