Will you blow on my dice?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
