I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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