I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
