i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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