i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
