Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
