my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
