i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
