I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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