whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize